~urbanesmala

Woot, so here's the drunken dwarf: Tumpy.

I was looking on the intertubes for bars to visit for Saint Paddy's and a lot of the websites had some crap story about the Saint that is worse than false. It's a real shame because his story is really amazing. We got it from two of his writings from around 500 ad that still survive.

First, the version being spouted by San Diego bars: "We think he was born in Wales and blablabla I suck."

Saint Paddy's REAL story (Not Saint Patty, Patty is a girls name) is roughly that he was born in a Roman province just before the onset of the dark ages. Back then the Irish were the most feared raiders and slavers in the known world. They would arrive in the mist and by the time noon sun burned it away you're whole town would be in chains and off to be sold to someone.

Patricious (or other latin sounding version of Patrick) was kidnapped at a young age and sold into slavery. He tended herds in the middle of nowhere for six years, every day he would pray to God and his faith would grow. After six years he had a vision, it told him that it was time for him to go home and a ship would be waiting for him if we went to the coast. Patricious escaped and walked 200 miles to the coast, and BAM a ship was waiting for him.

After some seafaring adventure, he went home and followed the family profession and became a priest, he did this for a couple more years then the visions hit him again like so many bricks. This time he was told to return to Ireland and save the Irish people, become their shepard.

That's something else man, would you want to go back and try to help people that had taken you from your family at an early age and enslaved you to work in the field for six years?

This says nothing of the fact that he was able to turn the most savage tribe at the time into a bunch of God fearing alcoholics who can't keep a family together if they had to. Truly that must have taken a touch of the divine.